I read the phrase “you cannot heal your broken heart”, and I cringe just a little bit.

I find myself ready to argue and put up a good defense. Honestly, it was even hard to type it out. You see, I’m not a fan of the word “impossible”. I quite enjoy doing things others say I would never be able to do.

And when it came to facing some of the brokenness in my heart, it was no different.

After struggling through a mysterious illness for so long, I began to believe that I was no longer worthy of love. I felt like an inconvenience and a burden. I struggled to find a place in society where I could function and thrive. With each new day, I felt a little more defeated. Brokenness followed.

As I began to come face to face with this brokenness that was storing up inside my heart, I knew something had to change.

But I wanted to heal my heart my way.

And my way of healing my heart involved pushing all my hurt, all my pain, and all my insecurities into a little dark room, locking the door, and running away. Far away.

Me: “Look, Lord! It’s all better. I did it!” 

Jesus: *Knock knock knock*

Me: “Lord, I already took care of that.”

Jesus: *Knock knock knock*

Me: “You reallyyyyy don’t want to go in there, Jesus.”

Jesus: *Knock knock knock*

Me: “Okay fine, you can go in. Just…please don’t mess anything up.” 

I didn’t want Him to go into that little room where I tried to bury my brokenness. Instead, I wanted to hide it from Him and from everyone else, even myself. I knew that as soon as I let Him in, He would start touching things. Honestly, I knew that it would hurt. It would hurt because in order to heal, I had to face all of those things I tried to bury. But we never have face this alone!

As He began to work, He took my insecurities and said “You are fearfully and wonderfully made”.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:14 (ESV)

When I felt unloveable, He reminded me just how much HE loved me.

The LORD appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” Jeremiah 31:3 (ESV)

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” John 3:16-17 (ESV)

Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Luke 12:7 (ESV)

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” Lamentations 3:22-24 (ESV)

As I tried to hide from Him, He reminded me that I cannot escape His presence.

You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Where shall I go form your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there and if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! Even if I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.” Psalm 139: 5, 7-12 (ESV)

He took my brokenness and said He could heal it. Completely.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 (ESV)

He restores my soul.” Psalm 23:3 (ESV)

When I felt defeated, He reminded me that I can walk in HIS victory.

For the LORD your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory.” Deuteronomy 20:4 (ESV)

For every who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world-our faith.” 1 John 5:4 (ESV)

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (ESV)

The reason I am willing to share this with you and talk about the brokenness I experienced because I know I am the not the only one who has felt like a burden, unloveable, undeserving, defeated and broken.

I couldn’t heal my broken heart. And you can’t either.

But Jesus can.

If you are experiencing brokenness in your heart and are trying so desperately to fix it yourself or keep Him from touching it, I encourage you to let Him take over. Let Him tenderly work in your heart in only a way that He can. He loves you and cares about what is going on in your heart. You can walk in victory, my friend. The name of that victory is Jesus.