Fully Known and Fully Loved Even When You’re Sick & Single

Last week, we talked about 3 lies you may believe if you are sick and single. Not only did we identify these lies, but we looked at what Scripture says about these lies. Today, we are going to do part 2 of our Sick and Single series: Fully Known and Fully Loved…Even When You’re Sick and Single.

I sorta went back and forth with this title. If you are sick and single, neither of these make you less worthy of love. Nor do they make you less of a human being. No one would ever be settling were they to be with you. But while we are in the middle of wrestling through those internal struggles attached to singleness and sickness, it can certainly feel that way sometimes.

And while we should allow ourselves the space and freedom to feel and process our emotions; our feelings and emotions are not truth. The truth, as we talked about last week, is that you are made with intentionality. You are made with purpose; you are wanted and deeply loved.

And Today I want to focus more in-depth into this truth.

Being a sick and single person out in the world can feel so daunting sometimes. Not just because there is currently “no special person”, but because society so often defines people by a relationship status. Additionally, having a relationship can feel like a safe place where we feel seen and valued for who we are. Or it can go completely wrong and leave you heartbroken and feeling less than.

Related: You Cannot Heal Your Broken Heart

In vulnerability, I’ll share with you that I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to open yourself up. To let someone see your dreams, hurts, struggles, and pains that the rest of the world doesn’t get to see. I know what it’s like for my illness to be used as a reason to be treated poorly, abused, and manipulated by partners that were supposed to be safe places.

There’s so much I haven’t shared that I don’t know that I could ever share to an audience, but I want you to know that I get it and I see you. And I get how scary it can be to be “fully known”, if you will. To let someone into those sacred spaces of your heart and trusting them to cherish it…whether or not you are sick, it is always a gamble whenever you let someone in.

But there is One who sees every single part of you.

He sees your tiny quirks, your deepest struggles, all of your limitations, and your hardest weaknesses. He knows what will make you laugh until your belly hurts, what makes heart fill with butterflies or what instantly brings tears to your eyes. Even more, He sees the sins you’ve never told a soul, He sees the pain, and the mess that is an inevitable part of being human.

And He doesn’t run. It’s not even that He simply sees us and loves us anyway, but He formed us, knit us together in our mothers womb (Psalm 139:13, ESV), He is acquainted and familiar with all our ways. God knew before your first heart beat what you would be like. He knew the things you’d struggle with and how you’d react to fear or anger.

Additionally, He knew which genes would be “wrong”, He knew which neural pathways would be formed overtime and what your personality would be like. He is completely sovereign over every detail of your creation.

In part 1, we talked about how creation is a purposeful and intentional act that implies want. Well, since He created you, His workmanship – He also fully knows you. And He didn’t make a mistake.

For we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:10, ESV

That makes a lot of sense, right? Because He formed you and made you, He knows every part of you.

However, that can be a really hard pill to swallow whenever our bodies and illnesses feel so limiting. But our bodies were not meant to be our sole source strength. Jesus is. I’d even argue that our entire human existence is meant to drive us into the arms of Christ and have relationship with Him.

Let’s unpack this verse a bit to see how it relates to us as single individuals; because there is promise and purpose in this verse that I don’t want you to miss!

Big Idea #1: You are His WORKMANSHIP – You are poetry

Okay, so I know this might feel a little redundant but I really want you to grasp this. The transliteration for this word workmanship is the Greek word poíēma. There are a few different definitions for this word Poíēma. Some of these definitions include, “anything that is made or done” or “a work”. But perhaps my favorite definitions for poíēma comes from the Liddell-Scott-Jones Definitions; “poem” or “poetical”.

You are quite literally a work of art; poetry made by God. Complete with your own stanzas. themes, structures, and verses.

So not only were you simply brought into existence, but you are the artwork of God. You were created with great skill, intentionality, and on purpose for a purpose…but we’ll get to that in a moment.

Big Idea #2: You are In Christ Jesus

Whenever I read the verse above, I can’t help but think about the importance of being in Christ, but what does it mean to actually be in Christ?

If we look at the verses surrounding Ephesians 2:10, we see that we were saved by grace through faith and that it is a free gift of God (vs. 8). Because salvation is by grace, it is not as a result of anything we could ever do (vs. 9). As Christians, our salvation is found in Christ alone and who we become is as a result of being found in Christ.

Everything else in our lives flows from this position of being found in Christ. Because we are made in Christ, we are new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17, ESV).

I once heard someone explain that being in Christ is like being completely submerged in water. It touches every part of you and it is all around you.

Psalm 139:5 also gives us a similar perspective:

You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.

Psalm 139:5, ESV

He goes before us and He is behind us. We are in Him. I find this so comforting, because there is no where that we can go. Psalm 139 continues with this theme:

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning ad dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead mean and your right hand shall hold me.

Psalm 139:7-10, ESV

Big Idea #3: We Have a Purpose

If you are similar to me, being sick and then learning that there is no cure for my disorders led me into a season where I really wrestled with my purpose.

If I have to stay in bed so much, what is the point of life?

What gifts and talents can I contribute to the world and society?

Do I even have purpose?

Will another person see value in me if I can’t contribute to marriage in certain ways?

But Ephesians 2:10 is very clear. We are a work of art created and found in Jesus to do good works which God has already prepared for us beforehand,

What is so beautiful to me about these verses is that illness, sickness, disability, limitations, and weaknesses didn’t show us and derail God’s purpose. He is sovereign. In that sovereignty, with full knowledge of every single part of us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, He still created us with purpose for us to walk in.

There is someone reading this who needs to know that even in your weakness, even in your disability or illness, you are a work of art created by God and there is God given purpose for your life.

So what does this have to do with being Single?

I chose to focus on these aspects because it is so important for us to grasp now as single individuals that we are beautifully created and filled with purpose. In a world that seems to define people by all kinds of external things, relationships included, it is so vital that we understand that we are not less than because of sickness or singleness.

Whenever we can operate out of the place that we are fully known and fully loved by God, it takes away the desperation of getting married or having to date other people.

I myself have accidentally fallen into that mindset that because I am so physically limited, I have to wait until I get married to do the things that I want to do or fulfill my purpose. But Scripture very clearly indicates that we are already made with purpose and good things for us to do.

So go out and live in this truth that you are FULLY known by God who intentionally and purposefully created you AND that He fully loves you.

In the words of Lysa TerKeurst, live loved.

Related: The Best Books For Christian Singles

Click here to read Part 1: 3 Lies You May Believe If You Are Sick And Single