I’m going to be really transparent…Singleness is hard.
Can I get an amen?
Whether you are in a dating relationship or remain a party of 1, there are so many challenges to being a Christian single.
Do I want to marry this person? Am I ready for marriage? What are appropriate boundaries in a dating relationship? Can we just be friends? How can my break-up glorify God?
It is okay that I don’t want to date that person? What will others think if they find out I’m a virgin? What will they think when they find out I’m not a virgin? Am I good enough? Should I lower my standards?
Singleness is full of a lot of emotions and a lot of questions.
And quite frankly, there were a lot of questions I was just too afraid to ask. And on top of that, I feel like culture does a wonderful job of teaching us that singleness is like a disease of some sort.
But in all reality, singleness can be a sweet and satisfying time in our lives if we live out our singleness surrendered over to the Lord.
That is a lot of the reason I love these books that I am about to share with you.
God has used these books in my life to both draw me closer to Him and prepare me for that covenant of marriage that He may have ordained for me in the future.
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All things being equal, a bad marriage is probably more painful than a bad single state.”
Henry Cloud – Boundaries In Dating
One thing that I really appreciated about this book was its bluntness. I also found this very helpful to me personally because, as I said above, there were some questions that I just too afraid to ask…and the question of boundaries was one of them. I didn’t want others to think I was trying to get away with as much as possible when in reality I didn’t know how to establish healthy boundaries.
This book didn’t approach boundaries from a “legalistic” point of view. Rather, I felt like it approached boundaries from the perspective of creating healthy and God-honoring relationships through healthy choices within the relationship.
Become the person the person you’re looking for is looking for.”
Andy Stanley – Love, Sex, & Dating
If you have ever heard the phrase, “become the person who the person you’re looking for is looking for”, you have heard a quote right out of this book. One thing I loved about this book was the emphasis it placed on taking time to invest in your own spiritual life and personal growth before anything else.
This book has helped me both in dating relationships and outside of dating relationships. I have read it over and over again and I cannot recommend it enough!
Most people never realize that loneliness is a gift from God. Not only can it draw us closer to Jesus, it can teach us to cherish a long-awaited marriage relationship all the more.”
Eric Ludy – When God Writes Your Love Story
This book is hands-down one of my favorite books, ever. I just recently finished it and I cannot speak more highly of it. A reoccurring theme in this book is letting God have the pen.
I really like the way the authors apply this both to our love lives and every other area of our lives in general. Similar to the 2nd book, this puts a great emphasis on the pursuit of a deeper relationship with Christ before pursuing other romantic relationships.
But the question to precede all others, which finally determines the course of our lives is What do I really want? Was it to love what God commands, in the words of the collect, and to desire what He promises? Did I want what I wanted, or did I want what He wanted, no matter what it might cost?”
Elisabeth Elliot – Passion and Purity
This book has been one of my must-reads on my to-read list. I love everything by Elisabeth Elliot. For this book, I really appreciated the perspective it offers about bring our passions under God’s guidance and control.
What we dislike in others is often a weakness in our own lives.”
Gary Chapman – The 5 Love Languages: Singles Edition
This is a book that I recently found. And I’m not going to lie, I was pretty excited when I found it. I love the original 5 Love Languages book.
Whenever I found that they had a singles edition, I knew it needed to go on my to-read list! I never thought of singleness and the 5 love languages going together, but this book offers a new perspective.
I think so many times, it is easy to think that culture has it right when it comes to love.
It’s easy to feel discontentment, or even a bit of bitterness, as we reluctantly obey. These books offer a different perspective and help singles live out this season of singleness joyfully surrendered over to God’s call and His plan.
I loved them, and I think you will too!